It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
