$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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