No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
