also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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