I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i've created a new STD.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
