MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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