also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize