do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
