i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
