i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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