Me. At least after what I've been through.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
