You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
only you would photoshop your dick
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Randomize
