the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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