We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
