im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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