He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
