You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
