Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
