yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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