Don't you send me to vm
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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