Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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