Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
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show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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