R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Randomize
