He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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