Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
