It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
