Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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