That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
