I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
