Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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