You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
