wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
