She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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