One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My feet surprised me
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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