this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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