Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
