For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm too high and old for this...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
