Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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