Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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