That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
