I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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