Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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