so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My life is pants optional.
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