If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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