but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
