I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
