FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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