I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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