I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
