matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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