like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just cropdusted the office
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
