No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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