who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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