i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
