I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
