she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
