OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
