Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
