The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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