He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
