I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
