Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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