the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
