i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
