Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
