ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
this hospital has no fireball
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
