Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
