Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
