I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
