YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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