sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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