oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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