if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
