Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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